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  • Does your child struggle with messy handwriting?

    Writing should be about the art of putting down your thoughts on paper. Whether a child is learning to write their name for the first time, draw a picture to share a story, or compose an essay for class, the most important part of any writing is the message itself. Handwriting that is difficult to read distracts and becomes the focus. So what happens when the mechanics of writing become such a struggle that the child is focusing all their energy on how to write rather than the writing itself? Where do parents go for help when their child just can’t seem to write neatly and every attempt ends up with tears? I’ve got a solution.

  • Emotional Eating: Parenting and its effect on our children’s eating behaviors

    I was asked to speak on TV recently about an article entitled “Eating Your Feelings? Your Mom Might Be to Blame.” Of course, for TV, the story had to sound catchy, so the TV host really played up the blaming mother and grandmother aspect. That made me sad; parenting is really a hard job and it is rough to be blamed for errors we make while doing our best. The data, though, really does suggest that how we were parented may affect eating behaviors and those of our children. The issue is important, since at least a quarter of preschool children in the United States are overweight. Obesity at the age of five is a very strong predictor of whether or not someone will be obese as an adult. So how we feed our young children and how we teach them to eat really matters for their whole lives. My take is that this information is not an opportunity to point fingers, but an opportunity to learn and to do better as parents.

    What the study has to say

    The article was based on a study done by researchers at the University of Illinois and published in the Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics. It showed that primary caregivers (usually moms) who had an insecure attachment to their own mothers are more likely to have young children with unhealthy eating habits who are overweight or obese. “Insecure attachment” is a term from psychology that has to do with how we feel about parents who don’t respond consistently to our needs. Parents who grew up insecure tend to have more trouble dealing with their own children’s needs, especially when it has to do with negative things like distress, anger, or sadness. That in turn is connected with some unhealthy behaviors surrounding food and eating.

    Real life examples

    The study clearly showed that homes where children’s sadness or anger are dismissed are also homes where there are fewer family mealtimes, more television viewing time, and more “comfort feeding.” These behaviors are known to lead to obesity in even the youngest of children. For example, an overwhelmed mother might respond to a temper tantrum by feeding her toddler snacks to make him stop crying instead of using appropriate parenting techniques to deal with the tantrum. Another example might be the parent who puts her four-year-old in front of the TV to eat dinner instead of having a family mealtime, since the TV keeps the child quiet and makes her sit still longer than sitting at the table for dinner. Sadly, this also leads to overeating in the whole family.

    So, what do we do with this?

    Well, if you have a two-year-old who is already overweight, maybe there is room to work with your parenting behaviors around food. Look at how you respond to your child’s negative behaviors. Do you tell your child, “that’s nothing to be angry about?” Or do you find yourself saying, “don’t be sad?” Instead you could say, “I hear that you are angry” or “you seem to be sad.” It’s hard to do. If you need to, ask your pediatrician for suggestions to deal with (and to help your child to deal with) those negative feelings. Could you tolerate a little tantrum or some tears instead of abandoning the family table for a meal in front of the TV (we call it the brain sucker in my house)? Could you give up feeding your child snack foods or treats to console them when they are angry or sad? Could you let go of the expectation that your small child will sit still to eat and will clean her plate? Could you serve a healthy, well-balanced meal and deal with it if your “picky” toddler gives you a hard time about it or refuses to eat?

  • How to calm your child’s fears at nighttime

    At least once a week, my 3-year-old daughter will ask me to lie down with her at bedtime. She usually asks for “mommy to snuggle me,” but the past few times has been because she is scared of the dark. This fear is very common among kids, and there are a few things that we can do as parents to help our children overcome their fear of the dark.

  • How the collaborative efforts of our medical team saved one little boy’s life

    Written by Dr. Pinnelas, pediatric hospitalist at Arnold Palmer Hospital

  • How to raise emotionally healthy children

    As a parent of a two-year-old and an almost four-year-old and a stepparent to a 9-year-old and an 11-year-old, the difficulties and pressures of raising healthy kids are monumental. From societal pressures to familial expectations, the constant question of “Am I doing this right?” never quite goes away.

  • On Mother's Day, remember the mothers of sick children

    "Motherhood is the hardest job you’ll ever love."

  • What are the most important things we can give our children?

    We have but a few, short years to shape and refine them, to help our children become the people they were meant to be. And then, we send them out into the world to find their way. It’s a tough job, isn’t it? To love and care so deeply about someone, about the outcome of this process of growing up, and yet be forced to let go of how it all turns out?

  • Preparing your child for surgery

    Hearing that your child needs surgery is difficult for many families to digest, and can often result in increased stress and anxiety leading up to surgery day. For many parents and children, the fear of the unknown leaves them with many questions relating to the preparation for surgery, the surgery procedure, and recovery after surgery. Sometimes for children, the unknown is their best coping tool in preparation for surgery as they think, “If I don’t know the details of the surgery, then I don’t have to think about it and therefore it won’t happen.” For many children and parents alike, denial and avoidance is a common stress relief tactic. However, the child is probably thinking about surgery day as he/she overhears conversations between adults about the surgery, and is likely picking up on their parent’s stress. The child has also been going to doctors’ appointments that are necessary before surgery, making it that much more real to the child. Knowing what to expect on surgery day can actually help ease those feelings of stress and anxiety, and help to eliminate misconceptions that the child may be envisioning.

    How do we help ease a child’s fears of surgery at Arnold Palmer Hospital?

    At Arnold Palmer Hospital, we offer a free, educational program called Project P.L.A.Y., which is designed to help your child understand what to expect before surgery and during their hospital stay. The program is led by a child life specialist who will walk your child, siblings, and you through what to expect leading up to surgery, as well as what to expect after surgery.

    What does the program entail?

    For younger children, our child life specialists use a teaching doll to explain what’s going to happen before and after surgery – all on an age-appropriate level. This can include things such as: IVs, catheter, and any other tubes or medical items they may see on their bodies before or after the procedure. They also show the child what an anesthesia mask looks like and explains that “sleepy medicine” helps them so they won’t feel anything during surgery.

  • When Mother’s Day brings sadness along with joy

    My mom died seven years ago. We were very close. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her about a hundred times. To be honest, I miss her more than words can even express. As a result of this, Mother’s Day is always a strange day for me. I am a mom, but I don’t have a Mom anymore. Year after year, my Mother’s Days are filled with sentimental joy when I read my son’s homemade cards and aches of sorrow when all I want to do is be able to call my own Mom and tell her I love her.

  • How I chose to discipline my son when he was a toddler

    To spank or not to spank?