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  • What do you do when your child hurts your feelings?

    One of my favorite times with my daughter is the car ride home from school. It’s one of the rare moments that she and I have that’s just the two of us, now that she has a little brother at home, too. One day last week, I was particularly excited to pick her up from preschool. I couldn’t wait to hear what letter she’d learned, what art projects she had made and who she played with on the playground. Usually she tells funny anecdotes from her day, and it makes me smile.

  • Are juice cleanses harmful to kids?

    Juice cleanses are widely popular among adults, especially women, as they are strategically marketed as a powerful way to detoxify the body and “reboot” metabolism, as well as provide a “jump start” in weight loss. As these juice products are showing up in more and more family-shared refrigerators, kids are starting to take notice and want to join in on the juice craze, too. Several recent news articles even highlight stories of young juice devotees, ranging in ages from 6 years old to 18 years old. One story even includes a mother-daughter duo that share a love for organic cleanses, who recently when on a five-day cleansing program because dad was out of town (because of course, I don’t think dad would approve!).

  • Does your child struggle with messy handwriting?

    Writing should be about the art of putting down your thoughts on paper. Whether a child is learning to write their name for the first time, draw a picture to share a story, or compose an essay for class, the most important part of any writing is the message itself. Handwriting that is difficult to read distracts and becomes the focus. So what happens when the mechanics of writing become such a struggle that the child is focusing all their energy on how to write rather than the writing itself? Where do parents go for help when their child just can’t seem to write neatly and every attempt ends up with tears? I’ve got a solution.

  • Emotional Eating: Parenting and its effect on our children’s eating behaviors

    I was asked to speak on TV recently about an article entitled “Eating Your Feelings? Your Mom Might Be to Blame.” Of course, for TV, the story had to sound catchy, so the TV host really played up the blaming mother and grandmother aspect. That made me sad; parenting is really a hard job and it is rough to be blamed for errors we make while doing our best. The data, though, really does suggest that how we were parented may affect eating behaviors and those of our children. The issue is important, since at least a quarter of preschool children in the United States are overweight. Obesity at the age of five is a very strong predictor of whether or not someone will be obese as an adult. So how we feed our young children and how we teach them to eat really matters for their whole lives. My take is that this information is not an opportunity to point fingers, but an opportunity to learn and to do better as parents.

    What the study has to say

    The article was based on a study done by researchers at the University of Illinois and published in the Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics. It showed that primary caregivers (usually moms) who had an insecure attachment to their own mothers are more likely to have young children with unhealthy eating habits who are overweight or obese. “Insecure attachment” is a term from psychology that has to do with how we feel about parents who don’t respond consistently to our needs. Parents who grew up insecure tend to have more trouble dealing with their own children’s needs, especially when it has to do with negative things like distress, anger, or sadness. That in turn is connected with some unhealthy behaviors surrounding food and eating.

    Real life examples

    The study clearly showed that homes where children’s sadness or anger are dismissed are also homes where there are fewer family mealtimes, more television viewing time, and more “comfort feeding.” These behaviors are known to lead to obesity in even the youngest of children. For example, an overwhelmed mother might respond to a temper tantrum by feeding her toddler snacks to make him stop crying instead of using appropriate parenting techniques to deal with the tantrum. Another example might be the parent who puts her four-year-old in front of the TV to eat dinner instead of having a family mealtime, since the TV keeps the child quiet and makes her sit still longer than sitting at the table for dinner. Sadly, this also leads to overeating in the whole family.

    So, what do we do with this?

    Well, if you have a two-year-old who is already overweight, maybe there is room to work with your parenting behaviors around food. Look at how you respond to your child’s negative behaviors. Do you tell your child, “that’s nothing to be angry about?” Or do you find yourself saying, “don’t be sad?” Instead you could say, “I hear that you are angry” or “you seem to be sad.” It’s hard to do. If you need to, ask your pediatrician for suggestions to deal with (and to help your child to deal with) those negative feelings. Could you tolerate a little tantrum or some tears instead of abandoning the family table for a meal in front of the TV (we call it the brain sucker in my house)? Could you give up feeding your child snack foods or treats to console them when they are angry or sad? Could you let go of the expectation that your small child will sit still to eat and will clean her plate? Could you serve a healthy, well-balanced meal and deal with it if your “picky” toddler gives you a hard time about it or refuses to eat?

  • How to raise emotionally healthy children

    As a parent of a two-year-old and an almost four-year-old and a stepparent to a 9-year-old and an 11-year-old, the difficulties and pressures of raising healthy kids are monumental. From societal pressures to familial expectations, the constant question of “Am I doing this right?” never quite goes away.

  • On Mother's Day, remember the mothers of sick children

    "Motherhood is the hardest job you’ll ever love."

  • How to calm your child’s fears at nighttime

    At least once a week, my 3-year-old daughter will ask me to lie down with her at bedtime. She usually asks for “mommy to snuggle me,” but the past few times has been because she is scared of the dark. This fear is very common among kids, and there are a few things that we can do as parents to help our children overcome their fear of the dark.

  • When Mother’s Day brings sadness along with joy

    My mom died seven years ago. We were very close. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her about a hundred times. To be honest, I miss her more than words can even express. As a result of this, Mother’s Day is always a strange day for me. I am a mom, but I don’t have a Mom anymore. Year after year, my Mother’s Days are filled with sentimental joy when I read my son’s homemade cards and aches of sorrow when all I want to do is be able to call my own Mom and tell her I love her.

  • 10 reasons to get your kids into the kitchen

    If getting your kids into the kitchen sounds a bit daunting, you aren’t alone. There’s the extra time and the mess and the trouble. It’s easy to think that things might be simpler if we sent our kids off to play while we handled dinner alone. However, we might be overlooking some great opportunities for us and for our kids.

  • Does providing alcohol to our children teach them to drink responsibly?

    It is so hard for parents to know the right ways to help our children stay safe and out of trouble. It seems like everywhere we turn there are more tough influences for us to confront. Electronics invade our children’s sleep time, social time, and study time. Drugs, both illicit and prescription, are readily available. Sexually transmitted diseases are potentially life-changing, if not deadly, and are transmitted at younger ages at increasing rates. The list is long. But one of the big culprits is the same stuff we dealt with as kids- the age-old problem of alcohol. We know the mistakes we made. We know the potential consequences of excessive alcohol intake: automobile accidents, drowning, unintended pregnancies, alcoholism, even death. We want to teach our children to navigate the hazards of this culturally accepted drug so that they end up safe and sound in adulthood.